I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
