i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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