Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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