Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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