What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
