is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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