i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
MIDGETS
????
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
