I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
