Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
