I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
