he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
