Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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