Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
