If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
