You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
