On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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