your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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