I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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