you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
