I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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