Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
