I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
another moral hangover. fuck.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize