if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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