Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
