It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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