Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
