The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
