then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
