Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
