I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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