I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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