Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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