dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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