Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
