with your own penis?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
