i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
