Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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