Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
as a side note pls kill me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize