i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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