Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
