just survived the first fart of the relationship.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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