i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think my moral compass just broke
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
