Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
