I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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