He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How does one acquire holy water?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
as a side note pls kill me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
