it was like his penis was on wheels.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
