oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
