i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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