Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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