No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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