fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
