Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
