When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
