i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
