So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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