mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
