Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
