It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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