worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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