Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Houston, we have a blender
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
